Kung Fu, Carter.

I loved today; Tatum, Carter, and McLane came to visit! We put "Kung Fu, Panda" on this evening so the boys could wind down a bit, though Carter insisted on watching the music video prior to watching the film. Check out his moves! And might I add that when we finally got to watching the film he was insistent on watching it in Spanish. Carter is already hilarious, it is very likely he will out humor his mom by the time he's in first grade. ;)






Carter and McLane warmed my heart today. I am so happy it's almost summer break so I can spend more time with all of them. One of the most difficult parts of being in Texas was basically missing out on all of Tatum's big life changes. They are both such sweet boys and thankfully have taken to me well over the years, even though we rarely see each other.

Thanks, Bug, for a great day.

What is this 'timing' thing really about?

I am noticing that there are changes happening in my life that I didn't really plan for. Well, I hoped for them, but didn't know if they would ever be implemented. Mostly changes in how I react to certain situations and feelings and emotions that are going on within me. I started therapy a few years ago, for the 3rd time, and it took me until this particular therapeutic relationship to really understand how I wanted to live my life. Was it the therapist? Was it the timing? Was it the relationship? Most would argue that the "common factors" could explain the reasons why this was the time that made the most sense for me to make the adjustments needed in my life. Is that true?

Ah, the common factors, how I (sort of) love thee.

Anyways, I have to say that I am grateful for whatever the reason behind such awareness these days. I am able to clearly ask for what I need, say what I mean, and believe that I deserve to have the best in life, something that took me quite a long time to thoroughly come to terms with. I recently let someone know not to call me anymore because I knew I deserved better. I would have never done that years ago! Hell, I wouldn't have even done that 6 months ago. It's almost as if all the things I wanted to have happen in my life just started happening. What is so puzzling is what makes these changes start to occur? Why are things so good all of the time, as if I am completely different with an ability to feel deeper, with a clear heart and mind? I feel as though I am typically a compassionate person, however, lately this compassion seems to have shifted into compassion with a side of boundaries.

Not that I am not a nice person anymore, that just won't change. Ever.

It's just that I don't let people walk all over me. I listen, take it in, and then express my truth and orchestrate a relationship (albeit clinical, collegial, friendship, romantic, student-teacher) with more intention and clarity. I am clear and deliberate, all the while feeling less anxious and happy. Definitely happy.

All in all things are really great right now. I feel settled in. I feel as if I am doing exactly what I am supposed to do at the exact time I am supposed to be doing it. Everything is lining up perfectly and I am learning and growing with each new day. It may sound cheesy, but it's incredibly true. And for that, I continuously remain extremely grateful.

Oh, and I cut my hair today. To go with my new "look" on life. ;) Bahahaha.