Thank you, California.

I went to California to see Brandy nearly two weeks ago. It was one of THE best trips away from work/school since I started grad school. Granted, our San Diego trip a few years ago was pretty fun, it was too short and involved a lot of travel time.

I arrived in the Lucas capitol of the world (I swear, one out of three persons is a Lucas) and was quickly reminded as to why I loved living near Bran all of those years. We are the type of friends that can just hang out without a million things on the to-do list and enjoy each others company. It was so relaxing to just be in her world and just go with the flow for a week. We had a bunch of laughs and I realized how much I have missed her almost instantly. Even though we had a lot of fun just hanging around, we also did a lot of exciting stuff. Went to a baseball game, went shopping several times, went out to her cabin and hit the lake (with a wave runner and kick ass house boat), had delicious meals, spent time with mama and papa Lucas, went swimming, watched great movies, and on and on and on. It was a fabulous trip and felt strangely disappointing to come back to Eugene. (When have I EVER complained about coming back to Eugene?)

Brandy is one helluva friend. I can't believe I just used 'helluva'. Anyways, she unlike anyone I have ever met and I am grateful for her "getting me." She invited me into her life years ago and opened up her amazing family to me and I have loved every minute of it. I couldn't be more alike and so different from one person and for some reason it just works. She pushes me to think differently, to which hopefully I do the same for her. It was a wonderful break with her and having Sal, Mare, Kadee and Bailey time certainly made it even better.

There was something about this trip that was different. For one, I was surrounded with people that I genuinely love and admire, which seems to feed the soul regardless of whatever else is going on. Given that, there was something else that was at play. I can't quite put my finger on it, but I just felt at home on this trip. Usually when I go away, there comes a point when I am ready to get home. I want my bed, my stuff, my space. This time, I was perfectly okay out of my space and, frankly, didn't want to come back (I even postponed my ticket for an extra 4 days). This has been very puzzling to me and it was proposed that maybe I am just at a place in my life where I can go some where else and be okay in my environment, sans anxiety and need for the comforts of my life. (I think there is something to be said for that.) However, I am also questioning whether this has something to do with my own place in the world, was it the actual place I was (Bran's life), or was it something completely different that I haven't realized.

Or, maybe it's a combination of all of those things?

To some extent I am just happier and more at peace. Someone actually said that to me recently, "you seem at peace, you're okay being you." What he isn't aware of (yet) is that I have been working hard for this for years---an endeavor that has challenged me and created significant anguish throughout the process. Given his sense of peace and serenity, I know he gets that, but I didn't really explain that I haven't been like this all of my life. Is that it though? Am I just in a place where I am happy and okay being me? I don't need anything else, but, well, me? I would say that I am indeed at this place, maybe it's just that California afforded me the opportunity to realize it.

With that said, shouldn't I feel that way regardless of where I am? There are still "places" that I go that evoke a great deal of frustration and discomfort. Is the universe trying to tell me that it's time for me to "deal" with those specific things? It's almost as if the California trip was the carrot, so to speak, saying "Hey Tiffany, see how good it is? Wouldn't you like to feel this way ALL of the time."

Yes, California, I do. Thanks for the reminder that I have to constantly work on myself.

Here are some pictorial highlights.

We had fun this night. Well, Sal and I did. Brandy sorta did. ;)

We started a fight at the baseball game and got a guy kicked out. This is us relishing in our victory. We are front row on the 1st baseline and annoying dude is ALLLL the way over on the other side. How do we know this? Cuz we could still hear him after he was banished to the bleachers.

We like cornfields?
We can't help you understand us.


This is our sad face because I am being dropped at the airport.